Hello, amazing moms out there! It’s Ella, sharing my journey on the winding path of motherhood from my little corner of the blogosphere. Today, I’m diving into a topic that’s been a game-changer for me and, hopefully, will be for you too: mastering the art of helping our children follow directions and pay attention. Trust me, it’s not about race, gender, age, or any specific child—it’s a universal skill that any parent can learn and apply to transform their child’s behavior.
Story 1: The Classroom Revelation
I used to think some kids just couldn’t focus. My first year teaching was a whirlwind with 25 kids bouncing off the walls, and I’d go home wondering, “What’s wrong with my kids?” Then, one day, I observed them with their PE teacher, Miss Williams. The same kids who were unruly in my class were following all her directions. It wasn’t just the PE activities; she later taught a math lesson in my classroom with the same success. It dawned on me: It wasn’t Miss Williams or the subject matter. She knew the secrets to child behavior—and I was determined to learn them.
Story 2: The Power of Proximity
One afternoon, I decided to apply Miss Williams’ approach with my son, Jamie. He was struggling with his alphabet, and our usual side-by-side sessions were getting us nowhere. I changed tactics, sitting directly in front of him, our knees almost touching. His initial surprise turned into focused attention as I gently guided his gaze back to me whenever it wandered. That day, Jamie mastered three new letters, and I learned the irreplaceable value of being “in his space” in a way that was supportive, not intrusive.
Over time, I became the go-to teacher for the most challenging kids. I’d request the 10 hardest kids in kindergarten or first grade because I knew the strategies to help them focus. And now, I want to share these insights with you.
Here’s the advantage you have as a parent: You’re not teaching 25 kids at once; you can focus on one. If you have two children, focus on them individually, tailoring to their unique needs. The first step? Say goodbye to teaching side by side. Instead, engage face to face with your child, ensuring they are looking directly at you.
Story 3: Transforming Tantrums into Triumphs
My daughter, Lila, was notorious for her pre-lesson tantrums. One day, as I braced for another battle, I remembered the calm, confident energy Miss Williams always exuded. I took a deep breath, met Lila’s frustrated gaze with a soft but firm look, and began. “Today, we’re focusing on three letter sounds,” I said, touching her arm reassuringly. The change wasn’t instant, but the tantrum subsided much quicker than usual, and we ended our session dancing joyously to her favorite song.
Physical contact also plays a critical role. A gentle touch on the shoulder, knee, or even high fives can significantly enhance focus. This combination of proximity, eye contact, and physical touch sets the stage for learning.
Your energy is another crucial element. While I’m usually upbeat, especially in videos, the key here is to maintain calm and confident energy. No sing-song voice or indecisiveness—just clear, calm confidence.
Now, for the specifics: Be crystal clear about what’s going to happen. For example, tell your child, “Today, we’re focusing on three letter sounds, and after that, we’ll have a dance break.” This clarity removes any guesswork and gives them something to look forward to.
The toughest part for many parents is mastering questions, statements, and directions. Avoid open-ended questions about important matters—these should be directions. For instance, instead of asking, “Do you want to do your sounds today?” (which gives them an out), say, “We’re going to practice 10 words, and after that, we’re going to play.” This sets expectations and boundaries.
Finally, believe in your child. Doubts about your child’s capabilities or your own ability to teach will seep through and affect the outcome. Approach each learning session with the belief that your child can achieve, and you’ll be amazed at the transformation.
So, if you’ve been struggling with making learning time enjoyable or effective, give these strategies a try. Change your approach, adjust your body language, and watch as learning time becomes a fun, bonding experience for both of you.
Got questions or want to share your experiences? Drop them in the comments—I’d love to hear from you. And remember, if you’re doubting your child’s ability, take a deep breath and believe. You’ve got this, moms! Until next time, keep nurturing those little minds.