Hello everyone! It’s Maria here, creator of the innovative parenting approach I like to call Choice Empowerment Parenting. This method, which my wife and I have honed over the years of raising our five children, focuses on nurturing your child’s internal decision-maker.
In our parenting course, we delve into seeing your kids not just through their external actions but by understanding their inner ‘choice maker.’ This includes understanding their free will and the decisions they make independently. On the blog and in my personal parenting, I emphasize how to foster this internal decision-maker in your child, helping them navigate decisions with peace and fun, steering clear of anger in discipline.
Today, I want to share a particularly effective strategy I use with my kids — it’s almost like a magic wand in its effectiveness. It’s not just about bringing peace into your household; it’s about cultivating your child’s inner self. Imagine it’s Saturday night, you’re trying to start a movie for the kids, but there’s a squabble about what to watch, or your teenager isn’t happy with the dinner you’ve prepared. Sounds familiar, right?
Here’s my secret: when the complaints start rolling in, I calmly offer, “You don’t have to, honey. You can always choose to have nothing.” It’s vital to deliver this without any negative tone because the goal is to truly mean it, even when it’s tough. This approach gives them a choice and aligns with the real-world consequences of decision-making, preparing them in a safe, controlled environment.
The essence of Choice Empowerment Parenting is to empower your children by allowing them to experience the natural consequences of their choices, thus encouraging responsibility and self-regulation. By consistently applying this method, you teach your children that their actions have direct consequences, helping them to make more thoughtful decisions in the future.
But let’s dive a bit deeper into the practical application of this concept. Say your child refuses to eat what you’ve prepared for dinner. Instead of entering into a power struggle or becoming frustrated, you simply give them the option to skip dinner. This method isn’t about being harsh but about helping your child learn to evaluate options and make decisions that they can stand by, understanding the outcomes of their choices.
This approach extends beyond the dinner table or movie nights. It’s about setting a framework for decision-making that they can carry into their adolescence and adulthood. For instance, when it comes to responsibilities like homework or chores, the same principle applies. You can guide them by saying, “You can choose to do your homework now and have free time later, or you can choose to relax now but you might have to miss out on something fun later because your work won’t be done.”
It’s important to discuss these strategies with your spouse or co-parent to ensure consistency and mutual understanding in your parenting approach. Sharing these experiences and strategies can also be extremely beneficial in parent groups or online forums where you can learn from and support each other in refining your approaches.
I encourage you to try integrating these strategies into your daily parenting. You might be surprised at how effective they can be in reducing stress and conflict in the home while simultaneously fostering a sense of independence and maturity in your children. It’s all about guiding them towards being proactive, responsible individuals.
If you find these strategies helpful, or if you have your own experiences to share, I’d love to hear about it. Engaging with other parents can lead to new insights and improvements in our parenting techniques. Sharing your journey can also inspire others who might be struggling with similar challenges.
Remember, the goal of parenting is not just to control our children but to guide them towards making wise choices independently. This method has worked wonders for our family, and I hope it can do the same for yours. Try it out, tweak it as necessary, and see how it can transform your parenting experience.
Thank you for joining me today. I believe that through thoughtful, informed parenting, we can raise children who are not only obedient but also capable of thinking and acting independently. Let’s continue this journey together, supporting each other with strategies that nurture our children’s best selves. Take care, and keep fostering those little decision-makers in your life!